Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Tox Box Experience

Welcome to Energy Solutions Arena, where the age of hip and cool has officially come into effect. Once the Delta Center changed its name to Energy Solutions Arena (aka the "Tox Box"), with it came a fresh attitude and vibrant new atmosphere. Goodbye Jazzy note, Hello hip-shades of blue.

The other night, Rising Stock invited me to the Portland TrailBlazers game last Thursday. I warned him (being that this was my 2nd attended game this season) that he'd have to prepare himself for a major change in Jazzgame entertainment and experience. Since I hadn't been to a Jazz game in a long time either (living out-of-town), it was wild to experience a Jazz game with its new entertainment "flavor-makeover". How else can you explain the new Jazz experience phenomena?

Let's just count the ways...

What's hip?
Here's a little "ham and eggs coming at you"... Warm-ups, timeout, stop in the action, and we're listening to a little Rihanna, Pink or Flo Rida. "Live Your Life" by T.I. and "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani are commonplace.

What's not?
Where's my Oingo Boingo, "Dead Man's Party"? Burning Down the House? KC & the Sunshine Band? What's a Jazz game without the classics? It's like the game operations people fired the old '70's vet and hired a young "teener" to run the show. In all honesty, I kinda like the change...

What's changed?
The starting line-ups. DWill got his wish. The line-ups are done with lights-off, strobes blaring, video highlights, raging music and the Bear at center court waving the Jazz banner. It's actually a nice wrinkle to the game atmosphere.

What hasn't?
The Bear. He's up to his old antics. That wily Bear!... always playing pranks on the refs. However, how come he doesn't sled down the arena stairs anymore? What ever happened to the Bear 'revving-up' the motorcycle engine? Times... they must be a changing.

What's hoppin'?
The Jazz Dancers. Keep doing what your doing, ladies. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite see you very well from the 21st row, corner-aisle. Bad view... But,"Nice moves anyway..."

What's not?
The In-house Jazz Dunk Team. Do these guys actually get paid to dunk? I believe that I could probably jump on a trampoline and fly around, doing acrobatic dunks too. No... actually not. But, I do remember playing dunk ball off a tramp in 6th grade. It was pretty fun. Please don't wave your arms in self-grandeur after performing an acrobatic flush. You're really not THAT good!

What's pure entertainment?
The KissCam, the FlexCam, & the DrummerCam. You take your pick. It's pure and utter joy. From the unassuming to the unexpectant or outrageous, the JumboTron Cam keeps the laughs a-coming. Just beware! The Cam will getcha, oh it'll getcha, if your not careful.

What's not too entertaining?
The halftime shows. They could use some upgrading on their productions. The human slinky was interesting, and the juggler was semi-impressive, but I think I'd rather take "a round" through the concourse and do some people watching. Now, that is entertaining! What kind of crazy folks will I run into this time?

What's the fad?

The Pink Jazz Jerseys. I saw a lot of Kyle Korver "pink" jerseys being worn by the lovely ladies. What's not to like? He's got tremendous form on his 3-point jumper.

What's out?

The retro Jazz logo, tight Stockton shorts, and shades of green and gold.

What rocks? A Jazz blowout over the Raptors last week and a Jazz victory over the Blazers. I'm currently 2-0 when attending Jazz basketball games.

What sucks? An Orlando Magic 28-7, 3rd quarter run resulting in a Jazz loss. Yuck! That sucks.


Pasty Gangsta said...

Pink Korver jerseys? Seriously? Creative I guess, but not up my alley.

As for my entertainment. . . I'm old school. Give me the Bear down the stairs, YMCA during 4th quarter timeouts and a little Rocky action in critical situations.

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