Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Summer Love

The offseason has mercifully come to a close. As the players trickle back into practice, it is apparent that basketball has not been an all-consuming mistress. In fact, a lot of formerly "available" players are now spoken for.

Most notorious, of course, is Lamar Odom's recent fake marriage to reality TV she-man, Khloe Kardashian. If you didn't already hate the Lakers (anyone?), the fact that the new additions to Laker's practices this year will be Ron Artest, Ryan Seacrest, and Brody Jenner should awaken you to the following reality: LAKERS FANS SUBSCRIBE TO PEOPLE.

Closer to home, love has bitten our slower, less-talented, Ukranian version of Lamar Odom: The Fez! That's right, the second most attractive center on the Jazz has stopped his wild, non-stop skirt chasing and has settled down with an anonymous lucky lady. Her identity won't be a secret for long, though: L.A. may have TMZ, but Salt Lake has Hope Woodside.


Pasty Gangsta said...

Fes is onto us:

"Fesenko also told me he's ready to 'prove to all my haters that Utah Jazz keep me for a reason' when they decided to take the $870,000 team option for this season.

"'I browse on Internet,' he said, explaining how he knows. 'Let's just not call them haters. They don't feel really great about me.'"

constant gina said...

Nice to see them together...this has to be a pitch for a future reality