Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Jazz Tats: Millsap Goes for Subtle

Editor's Note: This is the fourth in a series of internet investigative reports on the meaning behind the living artwork that is the Utah Jazz.

Seeing as how our days with Mr. Millsap may be numbered, I thought I'd chronicle his body art, even if his work isn't quite as magnificent as Boozer's.

Millsap has a measly two tats. But, as we know, he's young and unlike other tatted Jazzmen, isn't flush with cash with which he doesn't know what to do. The new collective bargaining agreement requires that all rookies get a tattoo with either (1) their initials, (2) Christ or other Christian imagery, (3) a basketball, or (4) the name of their mom/wife/girlfriend/child/agent. Millsap has #1 and #2 covered. Next year, when he's a rich man, I'll bet he gets a tattoo of a flaming basketball that says "Louisiana Made," and a giant Fred Flintstone with a stake through his heart just to spite Ostertag and the Jazz. Now, to the art:

1. Initials: Millsap went tame with his initial work. On his triceps he has, in old gothic font, a gigantic letter. First a P, then an M. You can only tell what they are when you see him from behind and he has his arms down. You can kind of make them out in the picture above, but you kind of need to take my word for it.

I don't think basketball players should get tattoos on their triceps(ala Deron's NO GUTS, NO GLORY). If/when I'm in the NBA, I'm getting tattoos on the back of my biceps that say "SWISH" or "THREE POINT SHOT", but that are upside down so only a defender that just got scored on can read them. That will be awesome.

2. Hands praying to heaven. Not too original. The hands praying to heaven is so cliche. Brewer has it. So does Jamal Crawford. Ditto LaMarcus Aldridge. If you're going to get the hands-praying tat, at least be original like Stephen Jackson and add something clever like a firearm. Like Millsap's other tattoo, this one is really hard to see. Oh well. When he's rich he can get some tats with color.
Notice that he didn't have any tattoos in college, which furthers my belief that some tattoo studio in Salt Lake is inking up our Jazzmen. Some Salt Lake tattoo artist is about to lose a lot of future business.
Jazz Tats Update: In my Ronnie Brewer tat post, I didn't mention his sick leg tattoo. Nothing says classy like a leg tattoo. Anyway, it is apparently a basketball player, but I can't make out the words. I provide an image here for your enjoyment and speculation.


Tucker McCann said...

When you say, "on the back of the bicep," do you mean "the tricep?"

Orlando said...

Indeed. Some of us (me) have biceps that are so big that they wrap around our entire arms.

But I'll make the change.

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